Are you having a Midlife Crisis ?
What that looks like, and why it's actually OK !
When one hears the phrase "midlife crisis" one immediately conjures up a picture of a greying man driving around in a noisy muscle car, with a young buxom blonde in the passenger seat, escaping the boredom of married life... Well I do anyway. I'd never really given it much more thought than that, until sometime in my 40s, which I suppose is the expected middle of a human's lifespan.
I used to think it only happened to men, because women were supposed to be too busy looking after their children, no time for such frivolities... That's a bit of an old-fashioned way to look at life, which is why I'd supposed that this kind of behaviour went out of fashion with 80s hot pants and permed hair... I believed self-help books and therapists cured the doldrums of midlife instead these days, and never even imagined that women could have them too !
That' what happens when you spend a decade or two in a routine of work-eat-sleep (and get lost in the whirlwind of being cook-cleaner-taxi-shopper-child carer and all-rounder) - you forget to look at the world around you and focus on your own immediate every-day emergencies. Then one day everything changes. Or it might be gradually, your eyes start to open and you realise that there's so much more to life than what you've been doing for so long, and it starts creeping on you that all these things no longer bring you satisfaction, even make you cringe. And now you need to make a big change, you need to figure out who you really are, where you lost yourself, and remember who you really wanted to be, before..
That's all a midlife crisis is, it isn't some mysterious thing that happens to middle-aged men, hahaha, where did I even get that idea from... Must be those movies in the 80s... It could be any feeling that shows you that you are no longer in tune with the way you are living your life. Boredom, emptiness, restlessness, impulsive unusual actions, depression, dissatisfaction, nostalgia, irritability, tearfulness.. All those negative feelings opposite to happiness and fulfilment.
Remember Stephen R. Covey's circle of control in "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" ? Now there's a self-help book that's worth its weight in gold. When you're no longer happy with how your life is going, there's no use in being upset with the role everybody else has in it, you can't control other people and what is happening in the world, so the best thing to do is look at what you can control, and make the changes to your life yourself.
And that's what a midlife crisis looks like. Someone who is doing all the crazy things they wish they had done long ago that bring them joy and satisfaction and make them feel like they're 19 again. Why not ? Just because you're in your 40s doesn't mean you should behave a certain way. Who really wants to act in a respectable manner ? Really really ? I think we're fortunate to be living in this age where being yourself is mostly encouraged and not frowned upon. Well OK, not in all societies. There's still those conservative, traditional, this-is-how-it's-done cultures which will be a lot harder to escape, but they're dying out. Let's embrace creativity and freedom of expression ! It's never too late to be young ! Age is only in your mind, and you're only limited by the aches and pains of your own body. Which, if you've kept yourself fit, should still be in good working order in your 40s. If not, like me, well it's never too late to get started with that either.
This is my story. One day in my late 30s, I woke up and noticed how grey and tired my hair had become. The clothes I wore were functional and uninteresting. Uninspiring. I felt like I was nothing more than a bread-winner, a taxi and the family housekeeper. Who was I anyway ? Had I ever wanted to be anything specific and had I forgotten to do it ? It took me several years of soul-searching as my children finished their school careers and became independent to find my way back to the 19 year old hippie with stars in her eyes who thought life was going to be a never ending adventure full of discovery and amazing experiences. It certainly started out that way. Until, aged 23, I embarked on the fabulous adventure of motherhood, that very slowly turned into a quagmire of routine and survival worries and bad habits.
It's never too late to wake up and turn things around. I don't regret any of it at all. Even the quagmire was an adventure. I discovered how that feels, and I discovered that it is possible to come out of it. Now I can empathise with others who are going through it. And, my newly rediscovered hunger for life adventures is all the more exciting for having hibernated so long !
So what does my midlife crisis look like ? First, I started a new exciting creative hobby. I got a few more tattoos, some funny happy ones. I donated my most uninteresting clothes and unpacked my 1995 Doc Martens boots. I got a piercing under my lip (I'd always wanted one, but, what would people say ??) Then I dyed my hair red and cut it super short and spikey. You can see the progression on my Instagram account @gaellegosselinvo (yes, I got one of those, it sounded like a trendy thing to do, hahaha) Then I quit my desk job and went full-time creative: I became a Freelance Voice-Over - doesn't that sound more fun than Middle Management ? I was even a YouTuber for a year. I discovered that my life's purpose is to INSPIRE. Now I'm a Blogger. Next year I'll sell my house and give up all my possessions, move to another continent, buy a van and become a Digital Nomad/Travel Blogger/Mobile Voice-Over. After that, who knows ? My life will continue to be an adventure, and hopefully it will inspire YOU to have your own midlife crisis !
You go girl!! 😍 Transitions are messy, but then suddenly you open up to the possibilities of the new! Inspiring story!